An Old Girlfriend

I am in my room just staring off in space. The year is 2003, and I am twenty years old. I was just thinking about nothing, until I came across my old photo album. It consisted of pictures of past girlfriends since 1996; which was when I was about thirteen years of age. I turned to the first page and blew away all the dust that has been on it for the last couple years. The first picture was my first love.

I remember many things about her. Her name was Lynda. I was young, but took relationships seriously. Lynda was shorter than I, and I remember that I used to make fun of how short she was. She used to make these silly little faces that made me feel funny inside. I think I remember so much about her because she was my first love. I remember that she was Cambodian, and she had three brothers and one sister. I remember the movies we went to go see with each other. Just reminiscing about her brings back pains from the past.

I turned the page because I started to remember the bad things that happened. I flipped a couple pages until I stopped at a page where I found an old bracelet. The bracelet was so old that the engravings were worn out. The pictures it was by was my last girlfriend in high school. I went out with her for two and a half years. Her name was Sabrina. She was my high school sweetheart. I remember her just as much as Lynda. I remember so many things about her. She was basically my ideal girl. Everyone knew of Sabrina and me. We were one of the most talked about couples. She was also the captain of the cheerleading squad. No doubt she was the prettiest out of most of the girls in school. She was so pretty that the other parents were getting jealous.

Who could blame them? No one could forget a girl like Sabrina. She was 5 foot and 9 inches tall. She had medium brown hair with blonde streaks. She had the cutest big brown eyes. She had dimples on both cheeks. I can never forget how she showed so much dedication to me. That is what I loved about her the most. I remember I met her during my sophomore year. It was during spring, because I remember our first date was at Crystal Springs. It was a place with a big lake with waterfalls and ducks. It was so beautiful. We had a long talk that whole day about each other. We got to know each other so well that we clicked together and we knew that we belonged together. It seemed like puppy love at first, but the relationship went so smooth that it was like chocolate. On our first year anniversary, we went on a cruise to Hawaii. I spent all my money on her, because it was the longest relationship I ever had.

I remember towards the end of our senior year, the relationship started to fade. Everything was going great, except for choosing colleges to attend. Sabrina wanted to attend Yale, and I was accepted to Princeton. We did not know what to do. Obviously we could not go to the same school, because either I was not Yale material or she was not the Princeton type. Sabrina and I went to the library to talk about this problem. I did not want to lose her, and she did not want to let me go. It took us an extremely long time to finally decide to split up. It was a very tough decision to make. We thought that school was important and that we could still see each other on holidays and so forth. Sabrina and I spent the last two weeks together packing up our things and going out to dinners and movies before we departed each other.

After we packed up, we headed our separated ways. She went to Yale, and I went to Princeton. Ever since the break up, things for me have not gotten any better. I’ve been single for two years. Ever since I moved from our hometown, I have been thinking about what she’s been doing lately. I thought about how good it would feel to talk to Sabrina again. I decided to pick up the phone and call Yale. A secretary picked up the phone, and I asked him if a student named Sabrina Sananikone went there. She took his time in searching through the student files. It was not very long until she picked up the phone to tell me that there were no files or any documents of a student of that name. I thanked her and hung up the phone. I wondered why she was not enrolled in Yale. I soon had the guts to call her house.

I sat there wondering what questions to ask. After all, we had not communicated since I left. I thought to myself to not think and just pick up the phone and call. I picked up the phone and called the phone number that was written on the back of the picture from the album. I sat there patiently while the phone rang. I let it ring for a little bit longer. Someone finally picked up. I didn’t recognize the voice at first. I proceeded with the phone conversation.

“Hello?”
“Hello? Who is this?”
“It’s Peter.”
“Peter? Sabrina’s ex-boyfriend Peter?”
“Yeah, that would be me.”
“Wow! Remember me? I’m Sabrina’s little sis!”
“Sarah? Little Sarah?”
“Hehe, yup, that would be me. So, what’s going on?”
“Oh, I called to talk to Sabrina.”
“What? Didn’t anybody tell you?”
“Tell me what?”
“Oh, my God. Sabrina died in a car accident two years ago.”
“No! What happened?”
“Nobody knows. She said she was going to go pick up her bracelet.”
“Bracelet?”

I hung up the phone. Anguish and sadness filled my heart. I couldn’t believe a word Sarah said. I looked down at my table and observed the bracelet carefully. I noticed the worned out engravings spelled out Sabrina. I started to have flashbacks in my mind about her and points in time when something special happened between us. I put down the bracelet next to the old dusty photo album. I could feel my eyes get watery as I closed them slowly. I opened my eyes again and noticed the drops of tears I let splash on the album. I felt so much sorrow that I went to bed early that night. The more I thought about Sabrina, the more I cried, and the harder it was for me to sleep.

I woke up around noon with the bright sunlight shining in my wet eyes, blinding me as I opened them slowly. I awoke hoping what I learned about Sabrina was only a dream, but then I saw the bracelet still sitting there on my table. I sat up on my bed with my legs hugged in closely in my arms. I sat there staring at the bracelet and wondered how it came into my possession. I thought so hard that I was about to break down and cry again. I had to keep myself strong, but I couldn’t. I was hurting too much inside that I had to let it out. The pain thumped harder and harder, making me weep like a little infant. I finally pulled myself together and got up to take a nice clean shower. Half an hour passed since I woke up. I got dressed and decided to look into what had happened to Sabrina the day she died. I thought to myself that the best place I can go to find information would be the library. I got into my car and headed for the library. As I drove to the library, I kept on having flashbacks about Sabrina and me. When I arrived, I ran straight to the newspaper computer and looked up Sabrina’s name. The computer paused for a moment. There must have been around forty articles written about her. I searched for the longest article I could find. I then came upon an article that was two pages long. I skimmed it slowly and then started to read:

Sabrina, of Portland, OR died last Saturday in a car crash…. Sabrina, 18, survived by her parents and two little sisters…. the other driver was intoxicated, and was said to have been asleep…. the other driver survived, yet Sabrina died at the scene…. relatives said that Sabrina was headed to a friends house to say farewell…. residents have said another driver was supposedly driving on the wrong side of the road, when Sabrina swerved to the left and ran into the intoxicated driver…. Her little sister told the newspaper “It wasn’t just her in the car, there was another life lost in the wreck too”…. forensics observed the wreckage carefully and there were no conclusions to whether there was another life or not….

I stopped reading the article and I stared into the screen looking puzzled again. I wondered who could have been the other person. I got up and started to pace myself back and forth in the library. The librarian looked at me funny, but that did not bother me. I could not think straight at all. I was so confused that it gave me a headache. It was not very long until to I decided to go pay Sarah a visit. I drove for hours until I remembered the way back to my hometown. I slowed down as I crept up on Sabrina’s old street. I pulled up at the driveway and noticed the old Honda Civic that her dad used to drive. I got out of the car and noticed that the house hadn’t changed very much. It was still the same house I used to go to every other day. I proceeded up the short little steps up to the front door. I knocked the door three times and rang the door bell like I used to back in the day. I waited for a moment until I rang the door bell again. As I turned around, the door creaked and opened slowly.

“Hi, Peter.”
“Hi. Sarah? How’d you know it was me?”
“You knocked three times and rang the door bell.”
“Yeah, you know me.”
“Yeah, I do. You hung up on me last night.”
“I know, I’m very sorry for that. I was just…”
“Come in, come in.”
“I had no idea what had happened to Sabrina.”
“I’m sorry I threw it in your face the way I did.”
“It’s okay. I’d rather hear it from you, than an old newspaper.”
“True….true….”
“Sarah, I read the newspaper article from the library, and it said that her little sister said that there was another life that was lost. Was that you who said that?”
“Y-yeah. It was me.”
“Can you tell me who the other person was?”
“Oh. No one told you that either? Peter…the reason Sabrina left home that day to get her bracelet was to come tell you something.”
“Wh-what did she have to tell me?”
“Peter, Sabrina was pregnant with your baby. Sabrina died in that accident along with the baby. The baby was the other life lost.”
“You mean…. I’m, er, would have been a father?”
“Yeah. She was going over to your house to tell you.”

I sat there and cried even more than I did before. Sarah sat there doing her best to calm me down. Sarah and I stayed up for the next three hours together drinking coffee and retracing the past of what we had lost. After a couple hours, I got tired and fell asleep on the couch in the living room. I awoke by the sound of Sarah’s high heels traversing towards me. I blinked a couple times before I could focus on her face. She told me good morning and asked me if I wanted any breakfast. I told her no and that I was in a hurry to go somewhere. She knew where I was headed, and she told me just where to go. I was headed for the cemetery.

I left the house in such a rush that I almost forgot my coat. I hurried to my car and started up the engine. I decided to stop by a florist shop on the way. As I approached the counter to purchase a single white rose, I asked the clerk for directions to the cemetery. I arrived at the peaceful field the clerk told me about. I searched in the area Sarah and the clerk directed me to. I walked for a while and my mind just wandered off.

I just walked wherever my mind guided me. I noticed it brought me to Sabrina’s tombstone. I got on both of my knees and placed a single white rose in front of her grave. I stayed there for several hours talking to her about how I felt and anything that came to my mind. I went on and on until the break of dawn. I finally stood up and kissed her tombstone. I said my farewells and paid my respects. I got up and dusted off my pants and walked back the way I came. I thought to myself, one day we will see each other again. As I walked back to my car, I looked back and saw a shinning star in the distance. The star slowly faded. All of a sudden, I felt a breeze blow across my face. I looked up in the sky and there she was. I saw an image of Sabrina smiling down at me. I smiled back at her, started the car, and headed back home.