- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they “want fries with that.”
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In.”
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.
- In the memo field of all your checks, write “For smuggling diamonds.”
- Finish all your sentences with “In accordance with the prophecy.”
- Don’t use any punctuation.
- As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
- Order a “diet water” whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
- Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
- Sing along at the opera.
- Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
- Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
- Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.
- Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
- When the money comes out of the ATM, scream “I Won! I Won!”
- When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling “Run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
- Tell our children over dinner, “Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go.”
- And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity…
Share this with someone to make them smile. This is called therapy.
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jorgon von strangle
May 3, 2006 at 10:55 am
i liked #1,17-19. they were really funny i give it 9/10.
Cassie Thomas
May 28, 2006 at 2:02 pm
I freagin LOVED all of them. they were so funny. i couldnt stop laughing when i read them and when i showed my friend i started laughing again even tho i’d already read them cuz they were so damn funny. i give them a 20 out of 10.they were over the top.
jordan
July 9, 2006 at 10:54 pm
That is awesome
Crystal
August 5, 2006 at 12:42 pm
I luved it!It waz flippin hillairious!I have got to show all of my friends!This is sweet.
amber
August 7, 2006 at 12:48 pm
and i thought i wasn’t insane. i already do half of this
Smilez
March 28, 2007 at 7:28 pm
oh this is has to be read again