Stuffbox Jokes
Knock, knock. Funny. Funny who? Funny jokes! (Your cue to laugh)
Finally, the guy’s side of the story. I must admit, it’s pretty good. We always hear “the rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
* Please note… these are all numbered “1″ ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday = Sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Continue »
BRAIN LOG: 063010012002
SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered.
CENTRAL: Alert? Number One, report!
NUMBER ONE: Sir! We’re picking up loud music.
CENTRAL: Music? We were just asleep!
NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it’s “The Last Train to Clarksville.”
CENTRAL: Good lord, are we being tortured?
NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction.
CENTRAL: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on.
NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness.. darkness.. wait, there’s a woman sleeping there.
CENTRAL: A woman?
NUMBER ONE: Sir, Libido Station wants to know if it is Jessica Simpson.
CENTRAL: Forget about Libido. What can you tell me?
NUMBER ONE: Sir, Memory reports a near perfect match to “wife”, sir. Continue »
- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
- Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
- Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they “want fries with that.”
- Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “In.”
- Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso. Continue »
